Alice and the Mystical World of AIM!
by block mango reino
Summary: the title says it all... co written with my bffl ostentatious.spontanious.ME R&R please!
1. I'm not Alice

_The Awesome Alice Adventures_

_**Luv2shoppe has entered the chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered the chat.**_

Luv2shoppe: Hi Bella.

Klutzyvamp101: Hi Alice.

Luv2shoppe: I'm not Alice.

Klutzyvamp101:… Yes, you are.

Luv2shoppe: No, I'm not.

Klutzyvamp101: You're being disagreeable. I'm going to test you to see if you really are not Alice.

Luv2shoppe: All right! Bring it!

Klutzyvamp101: First question! Do you like shopping?

Luv2shoppe: Pffffft…. pfft….uh… of course not!

Klutzyvamp101: That's what you WANT me to think.

Luv2shoppe: Yes it is!

_**Wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered the chat.**_

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Hi, Bella, love. Alice.

Klutzyvamp101: AHA!

Luv2shoppe: OMG what is it with you people?!?!?!?! I'm not Alice!

Klutzyvamp101 & Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Then who are you?!?!?

Luv2shoppe: …

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Wait… I can read her mind. She's thinking…. who she's going to eat for dinner tonight?

Luv2shoppe: That's what I WANT you to think. *smiles deviously*

Klutzyvamp101: You _**gotta**_ stop saying that!

_**DrMcDreamy335 has entered the chat.**_

DrMcDreamy335: Hi Edward, Bella. Alice.

Luv2shoppe: I AM. NOT. ALICE!!!!!!!!!

DrMcDreamy335: Yes, you are. I have your bite certificate to prove it.

Luv2shoppe: Why do you have to ruin my-

Luv2shoppe: I meeaaaaaannnnn……… no u dont.

_**Emo_maniac has entered the chat.**_

Emo_maniac: Hey Alice. you wanna go…. oh wait, there are other people here

Luv2shoppe: I. AM. NOT. ALICE! and for the record, I would….

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: C'mon guys, not in public!

Luv2shoppe: shut up eddie.

Emo_maniac: how bout a kiss 2 make it better?

Klutzyvamp101:Hello? we're still here!

DrMcDreamy335: And btw Alice, ur sn gives up you're whole "I'm not Alice "thing".

Luv2shoppe: Dang!

_**Luv2shoppe has left the chat.**_

_**Ttly_not_alice has entered the chat.**_

DrMcDreamy335: Very inconspicuous Alice.

Ttly_not_alice: . . . I'm not Alice. . .

_**Klutzyvamp101 has left the chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left the chat.**_

_**DrMcDreamy335 has left the chat.**_

_**Emo_maniac has left the chat.**_

Ttly_not_alice: well then!

_**Ttly_not_alice has left the chat.**_

_**hotter_than_u has entered the chat.**_

_**Big_gangsta has entered the chat.**_

Hotter_than_u: Looks like we're all alone Emmett…

Big_gangsta: Soooo…..

Hotter_than_u: you wanna….

Big_gangsta: :-)))))))

_**Hotter_than_u has left the chat.**_

_**Big_gangsta has left the chat.**_


	2. Online shopping and feeeeeeeelings

Chapter 2

_**Luv2shoppe has entered chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat.**_

Luv2Shoppe: Hey guys! What's up?

KlutzyVamp101: Hey Alice!

KlutzyVamp101: u r alice, rite?

Luv2Shoppe: wat do u mean? im alice, cant u tell by the name?

KlutzyVamp101: nvm

Luv2Shoppe: were going shopping today!!!!! I see it!

KlutzyVamp101: edward! a little help plz?

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: srry, love. she said she's burn my piano and smash my cds.

KlutzyVamp101: you can fight her off! she's just a little pixie!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: a little devilish pixie!

Luv2Shoppe: still here! and thanx eddie. much appreciated

Luv2Shoppe: you're going to leave in approximately 25 seconds?

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: me?

KlutzyVamp101: :-(

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: omg emmett get away from me

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: bye bella

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat.**_

KlutzyVamp101: what did you do…

Luv2Shoppe: i got jasper 2 give emmett _feelings_ 4 edward

KlutzyVamp101: lol

_**Emo_maniac has entered chat.**_

Emo_maniac: lol, indeed

KlutzyVamp101: nobody says the word indeed anymore

Luv2Shoppe: yea jazzy, u gotta get with the times

KlutzyVamp101: like this

Luv2Shoppe: yo wazzap bella

KlutzyVamp101: sup alice

KlutzyVamp101: omg did u c emmett

Luv2Shoppe: OMFG yea!!! rofl

KlutzyVamp101: LMAO!!!!

Emo_maniac: I've heard enough

Emo_maniac: come upstairs alice when you're done with this foolishness

_**Emo_maniac has left chat.**_

Luv2Shoppe: never gonna happen!

KlutzyVamp101: soooOOOOooooOOOOOoooo

Luv2Shoppe: i have the best idea!

KlutzyVamp101: do I want 2 no?

Luv2Shoppe: well, I rlly want 2 go shopping, but I want to stay on aim, so I discovered this thing called online shopping! its BRILLIANT

KlutzyVamp101: u JUST discovered that?

Luv2Shoppe: u callin me dumb

KlutzyVamp101: I thot u knew!

Luv2Shoppe: I haven't really done anything of importance on the computer until AIM

KlutzyVamp101: one problem. how do you get stuff for me?

Luv2Shoppe: this is your fave part! it gets delivered right to our mailbox

KlutzyVamp101: ew snail mail.

Luv2Shoppe: -rolls eyes-

KlutzyVamp101: …

Luv2Shoppe: i think im going to make good on jazzy's offer

KlutzyVamp101: kk

_**Luv2Shoppe has left chat.**_

KlutzyVamp101: Lonelyyyyyy

KlutzyVamp101: I have nobodyyyyyyyyy

KlutzyVamp101: For my owwwnnnn

KlutzyVamp101: OWWWWNNN!

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: hi bella

KlutzyVamp101: you don't have _feelings_ for edward anymore, rite?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: ew, why would I have _feelings_ for edward?

KlutzyVamp101: ok good.

Buff_Teddy_Bear: lets talk about _feeeeeeeeeelings_

KlutzyVamp101: bi!

_**KlutzyVamp101 has left chat**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: nobody likes me!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: buff teddy OUT!

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left chat.**_


	3. Gay!

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered the chat.**_

_**Wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered the chat.**_

Klutzyvamp101: Edward!

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Hey Bella.

Klutzyvamp101: OMG how could you?!?!

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: How could I what?

Klutzyvamp101: Don't pretend like you don't know!

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Know what?

Klutzyvamp101: Alice said she sees you dumping me for Jacob!!!

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: . . .

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Wut?!?!?!

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear: has entered the chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Hey guys. What's up Eddie?

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Ok, first of all Emmett, DON'T CALL ME EDDIE! Second, I'm not gay.

Buff_Teddy_Bear: whoa! Eddie, y didn't u tell me?

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Ok Bella, wutever u say, I. AM. NOT. GAY! Not that there's anything wrong with gays…

Klutzyvamp101: Well Eddie, I wouldn't disagree with Alice. I mean, she _**can **_see the future.

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Even though I hate the nickname Eddie coming from Emmett, from u Bella I love it…

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Everybody go awwwwww!!

Ttly_not_alice: BOOOOO!!!!!

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Alice? Where'd you come from? It never said you logged in!

Klutzyvamp101: Don't tell me you've just been waiting for us the whole day!

Ttly_not_alice: Of course not! I've been Shopping! I knew you guys would be on so I just logged on a minute before you!

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Ok, now I'm mad Alice. Why'd u tell Bella that I was gonna dump her to become gay with the dog?

Klutzyvamp101: Yea! Stop messing with us! Is it true or not?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Whoa! This is getting fiesty! I'm sooo getting Jasper!

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left the chat.**_

Ttly_not_alice: Ok guys, chill. I have no idea wut I saw. But, it had nothing to do with u guys. To be honest, I think I saw Emmett accidently ….. OMG I better go! BRB!

_**Ttly_not_alice has left the chat.**_

_**Ttly_not_alice has entered the chat.**_

Ttly_not_alice: Oh, and I'm gonna change my sn back!

_**Ttly_not_alice has left the chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered the chat.**_

_**Emo_man has entered the chat.**_

Emo_man: Ok, what did Alice do now?

Klutzyvamp101: Oh, nothing. Just screwing up Edward and my relationship and almost having us break up. Nothing at all.

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Where'd she go? Dang! Did I just miss the cat-fight?

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Emmett, have you left any open flames out? Anything that could, I don't know, **SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE OR SOMETHING?!?!**

Buff_Teddy_Bear: No! Y do u guys always assume that-

Buff_Teddy_Bear: OMG! BRB!

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left the chat.**_

_**Luv2shoppe has entered the chat.**_

Luv2shoppe: Guys come quick!

_**Luv2shoppe has left the chat.**_

_**Emo_man has left the chat.**_

_**Wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left the chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has left the chat.**_

_**Wanna know what Emmett did? Keep in tune to find out!**_


	4. Soulja Emmett

_**Luv2shoppe has entered the chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered the chat.**_

_**Wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered the chat.**_

_**DrMcDreamy335 has entered the chat.**_

_**Emo_maniac has entered the chat.**_

_**Hotter_than_u has entered the chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear**_ _**has entered the chat.**_

Hotter_than_u: Whoa! Y is everyone on at the same time?

DrMcDreamy335: Well, Esme's not on right now…

Hotter_than_u: Esme doesn't have aim Carlisle.

Luv2shoppe: Then we have to make her one! :-)

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: Um, alice? Im not sure that coming from u that's such a great idea…

Luv2shoppe: What? Are you insulting me?

Wuts_on_ur_mind: well, quite frankly, yes.

Luv2shoppe: well then! Bella, c'mon. we're leaving!

Klutzyvamp101: Alice, do I have to?

Luv2shoppe: Yes. Now c'mon.

_**Klutzyvamp101 has left the chat.**_

_**Luv2shoppe has left the chat. **_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered the chat.**_

Klutzyvamp101: wow, ditching alice is easier than I thought!

Emo_maniac: Emmett? Wuts wrong?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Wut? Nothing!

Emo_maniac: Well, it's just that you haven't spoken the whole chat!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: OMG! Ur right! I better start talking!

Klutzyvamp101: Look what u did now jasper!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Hey Bella, did u eat all the cheerios?

Klutzyvamp101: what? No! I don't even eat cheerios!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Well, did u know theyre very high in fat?

Klutzyvamp101: ?

Wuts_on_ur_mind: ?

DrMcDreamy335: . . .

Hotter_than_u: . . .?

Emo_maniac: Im sorry for getting him started everyone.

DrMcdreamy335: It's ok Jasper. We all make mistakes.

_**Luv2shoppe has entered the chat.**_

_**Motherofthevamps has entered the chat.**_

Luv2shoppe: Bella, now I'm out to get you btw.

Klutzyvamp101: gulp!

Motherofthevamps: So, what do we do in this little Aim chat room?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Well….

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Yoooouuuu!

Soulja boy I tell em

Hey I got a new dance fo y'all called the "Soulja Boy"

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaah!

Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank dat soulja boy  
Then superman dat hoe  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
[X2]  
Soulja boy up in this hoe  
Watch me lean and watch me rock-

Luv2shoppe: MAKE IT STOP!  
Motherofthevamps: Alice! Why didn't you tell me what I would expect?!?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Kk, Esme, you cnt tlk all "Alice why didn't you tell me what I would expect?!?" Ya gotta tlk lik this!

Emo_man: Anyone have any idea wut he just said?

DrMcDreamy335: nope

Wuts_on_ur_mind1918: not a clue.

Klutzyvamp101: I blame u for this Jasper! He was almost quite for the whole chat!

Luv2shoppe: Oh god. Jasper, run!

Emo_maniac: wut?!?!

Luv2shoppe: Just go! Wut I see isn't pretty for u!

_**Emo_maniac has left the chat.**_

Hotter_than_u: Lets get him!

_**Hotter_than_u has left the chat.**_

_**DrMcDreamy335 has left the chat.**_

_**Wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left the chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has left the chat. **_

_**Luv2shoppe has left the chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Yoooouuuu!

Soulja boy off in this hoe  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank dat soulja boy  
Then superman dat hoe  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
Now watch me do  
Crank dat soulja boy  
[X2]  
Soulja boy up in this hoe  
Watch me lean and watch me rockSuper man dat hoe  
Then watch me crank dat Robocop  
Super fresh, now watch me jock  
Jocking on them haters man  
When I do dat soulja boy  
I lean to the left and crank dat thang  
(Now you! )  
I'm jocking on you bitch ass  
And if we get the fightin  
Then I'm cockin on your bitch ass  
You catch me at you local party  
Yes I crank it everyday  
Haters get mad cause  
I got me some Bathing Apes-

Buff_Teddy_Bear:

Why do you build me up (Build me up)  
Buttercup baby just to  
let me down (Let me down)  
And mess me around  
And then worst of all (Worst of all)  
You never call baby  
When you say you will (Say you will)  
But I love you still  
I need you (I need you)  
More than anyone darlin'  
You know that I have from the start

So build me up (Build me up)  
Buttercup  
Don't break my heart

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left the chat.**_

_**A/N: What will happen to Jasper? Will Emmett finally lose his habits of being an idiot? And is Emmett really gay? Read the next chapter to find out!**_


	5. Alice must DIIIIEEEEE!

_**Luv2Shoppe has entered chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat.**_

Luv2Shoppe: hi eddie

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: what do you want alice

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: don't call me eddie

Luv2Shoppe: well……

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: the answer is no

Luv2Shoppe: I just wanted 2 tell u that bella will sign on in 54 seconds

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: omc **(a/n: oh my Carlisle)** does my hair look ok

Luv2Shoppe: were on AIM pretty boy

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: go away alice. I don't want u ruining my moment

Luv2Shoppe: fine. but can i….

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: yea sure whatev

Luv2Shoppe: 3…2…1…bi!

_**Luv2Shoppe has left chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered chat.**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: hi.

Klutzyvamp101: hi

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: hi :-)

Klutzyvamp101: u said that already

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: so? wat r u thinking right now

Klutzyvamp101: im thinking, wtf alice is doing. and that i 3 u.

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: I 3 u 2. im sure alice is doing something harmless.

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has signed on.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: omc eddie!!! alice is burning ur piano!!!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: spoke too soon. may I go bella?

Klutzyvamp101: of course

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: wut are we waiting 4? lets watch

Klutzyvamp101: this will be good

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left chat**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has left chat.**_

**20 very entertaining minutes later…**

_**Luv2Shoppe has entered chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered chat.**_

Klutzyvamp101: alice, where r u? I thot u would be dead by now

Luv2Shoppe: cant say. cuz emmett will tell edward

Luv2Shoppe: he cant hear my thoughts where i am, but I cant see visions.

_**Emo_maniac has entered chat.**_

Emo_maniac: hey guys. wuts up with eddie? his emotions tell me he is extremely mad!

Luv2Shoppe: oh no

Luv2Shoppe: my computer is stuck!

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: WHERE IS ALICE??????

Buff_Teddy_Bear: in this chat

Buff_Teddy_Bear: somewhere we don't know

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: speak!!!!

Luv2Shoppe: u said I could.

Luv2Shoppe: i asked if I could do something

Luv2Shoppe: you interrupted, I quote "yea sure whatev"

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: u will DIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!

Luv2Shoppe: not if you die first!!!!!!!

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat**_

Klutzyvamp101: don't kill edward

Klutzyvamp101: ill be sad :-(

Luv2Shoppe: he wont kill me

Luv2Shoppe: I bought him a solid gold piano

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: you what?

Luv2Shoppe: happy birthday

Buff_Teddy_Bear: happy anniversary

Emo_maniac: you've been a vampire for 91 years!!!

Klutzyvamp101: how come I didn't know this….

Klutzyvamp101: I mean… happy birthday!!!!

Klutzyvamp101: I heart u

Buff_Teddy_Bear: lets go hunt!!!! moose blood on me!!!

Klutzyvamp101: I have a very _special_ gift for edward

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: :-)

_**Luv2Shoppe has left chat.**_

_**Emo_maniac has left chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has left chat.**_


	6. OMC!

_**Luv2Shoppe has entered chat.**_

_**Klutzyvamp101 has entered chat.**_

_**Emo_maniac has entered chat.**_

_**DrMcDreamy335 has entered chat.**_

DrMcDreamy335: hi alice and bella.

KlutzyVamp101: hi carlisle

Luv2Shoppe: aren't you at the hospital

DrcDreamy335: yes but, a giant group of fangirls came into the hospital asking me to bite them!!!!

KlutzyVamp101: congrats Carlisle! you have fangirls!!!!

Luv2Shoppe: where are you now

DrMcDreamy335: in the hiding shelter

DrMcDreamy335: btw alice, u left ur laptop here

Luv2Shoppe: its ok, im using Edwards brand new, not sold in America, paper thin laptop

Emo_maniac: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Luv2Shoppe: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!

_**Luv2Shoppe is having some technical difficulties.**_

KlutzyVamp101: hi jasper. i didn't even notice you were on

KlutzyVamp101: what was the screaming for

DrMcDreamy335: you can't technically "scream" on AIM. Technically,

KlutzyVamp101: shut up, Carlisle. don't make me sic the fangirls on you!

DrMcDreamy335: no no anything but that!!!

KlutzyVamp101: as I was saying before I was RUDELY INTERRUPTED

KlutzyVamp101: what was the yelling for?

Emo_maniac: I was trying to get alice to break Edwards laptop

Emo_maniac: and then blame emmett

KlutzyVamp101: classic.

DrMcDreamy335: im telling

_**CarlislesBiggestFanEVER has entered chat.**_

CarlislesBiggestFanEVER: omc omc omc omc omc omc omc omc omc OMC!!!!!!

DrMcDreamy335: what does omc mean?

KlutzyVamp101: oh my Carlisle

DrMcDreamy335: oh dear god.

DrMcDreamy335: why do you hate me?

Emo_maniac: you can't do that.

Emo_maniac: you could never EVER pull emo off.

CarlislesBiggestFanEVER: bite me bite me bite me bite me bite me bite me

KlutzyVamp101: you've scared him enough

KlutzyVamp101: thanx Jessica

_**CarlislesBiggestFanEVER has left chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat.**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: hello, love.

KlutzyVamp101: hiya eddie.

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: two questions

Emo_maniac: wait wait wait. you yell at everyone else for calling you eddie, but you don't yell at bella? oh, come on!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: it actually sounds kind of sexy when bella says it.

DrMcDreamy335: technically

KlutzyVamp101: you're too old to be using aim! go away!

DrMcDreamy335: well then!

_**DrMcDreamy335 has left chat.**_

KlutzyVamp101: so, back to your two questions

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: three now

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: first, have you guys seen my laptop

Emo_maniac: IT WAS EMMETT!!!!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: ok. he shall die l8r

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: y is Jessica Stanley running around the house screaming "OMC BITE ME!!!"

KlutzyVamp101: lol

Emo_maniac: lmao

KlutzyVamp101: I didn't no u were capable of laughter

Emo_maniac: me neither

KlutzyVamp101: I think shes a Carlisle fangirl

Emo_maniac: ya think?

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: ok. last, y is alice singing every word she says, with lines from random songs?

_**Emo_maniac has left chat.**_

KlutzyVamp101: idk

_**KlutzyVamp101 has left chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918.**_

**Why is Alice singing? Stay tuned to find out!**


	7. Multiple Personality Disorder

_**MysteriousCrazyPerson has entered chat.**_

MysteriousCrazyPerson: mwahahahahahaha

MysteriousCrazyPerson: I will now stalk the cullens because I am a stalker

_**MysteriousCrazyPerson has switched to invisibility mode.**_

_**Luv2Shoppe has entered chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: Yo, A

Luv2Shoppe: don't do that

Luv2Shoppe: gangsta is not ur thang

Buff_Teddy_Bear: why do you hate me??!?!?!

Luv2Shoppe: neither is emo

Luv2Shoppe: that belongs to my jazzy wazzy

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat.**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: you

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: called

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: jasper

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: jazzy

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: WAZZY!!!!!!!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: I am so telling him

_**Emo_maniac has entered chat.**_

Emo_maniac: you

Emo_maniac: called

Emo_maniac: ME

Emo_maniac: jazzy

Emo_maniac: WAZZY!!!!!!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: woa, like, déjà vu

Buff_Teddy_Bear: like, omc, don't you like, LOVE my new shoes

Luv2Shoppe: OMJ **(oh my jasper)** you got new shoes!!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: you said omc

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: im telling

Emo_maniac: emmett, valley girl is just not ur thang

Emo_maniac: its alices

Buff_Teddy_Bear: o no u didn'ttttttt

Luv2Shoppe: DON'T STEAL MY LINE!!!!!

Luv2Shoppe: VIRTUALLY SLAPS JASPER!!!!!

Emo_maniac: owie

_**DrMcDreamy335 has entered chat.**_

DrMcDreamy335: IMPOSSIBLE

Luv2Shoppe: OMFJ **(oh my f***ing jasper)** go away old man

_**DrMcDreamy335 has left chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: DO NOT USE GODS NAME IN VAIN

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: u think of jasper as god

Buff_Teddy_Bear: nooooooooo

Luv2Shoppe: lets list all the personalities

Luv2Shoppe: gangsta, emo, valley girl, and now queer?

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!!

Emo_maniac: wtf

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: oh, you wouldn't get it. it's a bella thing

Luv2Shoppe: where is bella anyway

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: idk my bff jill?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: ooooo ur cheating on bella with sum1 named jill

Emo_maniac: le gasp!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: French ppl scare me

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: alice?

Luv2Shoppe: ya

Buff_Teddy_Bear: switzerlandish ppl scare me too!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: weren't you supposed to be singing every word u say?

Emo_maniac: ooOOooOOooOOooOO noOOooOOooOOooOOooOO

Luv2Shoppe: la _la __la __**la **__la __la_ la.

_**Hotter_than_u has entered chat.**_

Hotter_than_u: alice, help me make my outfit perfect…

Luv2Shoppe: NOBODY"S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT!

MysteriousCrazyPerson: you guys are SO weird!

_**MysteriousCrazyPerson has left chat.**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: that was odd

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left chat.**_

_**Hotter_than_u has left chat.**_

_**Emo_maniac has left chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat.**_

Luv2Shoppe: lonelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Luv2Shoppe: I am so lonelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Luv2Shoppe: I have nobodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Luv2Shoppe: for my ownnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Luv2Shoppe: OWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Luv2Shoppe: whatever. stupid author who says something will happen but it really doesn't because she forgets about it because she takes a really long time to update.

Rokker_Cullen: excuse me?

_**Luv2Shoppe has left chat.**_

**Authors note: the screennames belong to me and my bffl .ME**

**characters belong to steph meyer**

**I apologize for all of the things alice said I did**

**read and review. I will give u…… jasper because I don't really like him, no offense jasper fans.**


	8. Merry Christmachannukwanzaa!

**Authors Note: Happy Holidays! I don't own twilight, but I wish I did! That would be SUCH a good Chanukah prezzie!**

_**Santa_Cullen_Claus has entered chat**_

_**Luv2Shoppe has entered chat.**_

Santa_Cullen_Claus: hello there alice! what would you like for Christmas

Luv2Shoppe: -jumps on santas lap-

Santa_Cullen_Claus: oof

Luv2Shoppe: I would like my own store in the mall

Santa_Cullen_Claus: um… okie dokie

_**Emo_maniac has entered chat.**_

Santa_Cullen_Claus: what would you like for Christmas jasper

Emo_maniac: FAT RED HOBOS SCARE ME!

Santa_Cullen_Claus: YOU WANNA MESS?

Emo_maniac: yea!

Santa_Cullen_Claus: -punches out jasper-

_**Motherofthevamps has entered chat.**_

Motherofthevamps: CHILDREN and santa!

Motherofthevamps: no punching each other out.

Luv2Shoppe: sorry mother

Santa_Cullen_Claus: sorry…. esme

Luv2Shoppe: I think santa is carlisslay!

Motherofthevamps: that is not how you say his name!!!

Luv2Shoppe: :-P

Santa_Cullen_Claus: what would you like for Christmas esme

Motherofthevamps: I was jewish when I was human

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat.**_

_**klutzyvamp101 has entered chat.**_

_**DrMcDreamy335 has entered chat.**_

_**MYNAMEISWEIRD has entered chat.**_

_**Hotter_than_u has entered chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered chat.**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: you were?

klutzyvamp101: you were?

Hotter_than_u: u were?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: u want a kiss rose?

Hotter_than_u: kay

MYNAMEISWEIRD: you were?

DrMcDreamy335: no you weren't!

Motherofthevamps101: yes I was

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: speak Hebrew then

Mother of the vamps: vayosef od daveeeed et kol bachoor biyisrael shlosheem alef.

DrMcDreamy335: that was Hebrew

Santa_Cullen_Claus: what would you like for Christmas edward

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: a second honeymoon with bella

klutzyvamp101: blushes

Santa_Cullen_Claus: ohkayyyyyyy……

Santa_Cullen_Claus: what would you like for Christmas bella

klutzyvamp101: edward

Santa_Cullen_Claus: you have him already

klutzyvamp101: i no!

Santa_Cullen_Claus: sigh

Santa_Cullen_Claus: what do you want emmett

Buff_Teddy_Bear: that's a hard question

Buff_Teddy_Bear: don't tell me

Buff_Teddy_Bear: your killing my brain

Buff_Teddy_Bear: AAAAAHHHH!!!!

Santa_Cullen_Claus: THAT IS NOT A HARD QUESTION

Buff_Teddy_Bear: meanie poo santa

Santa_Cullen_Claus: moving on, what would you like blondie?

Hotter_than_u: to have babies!

Hotter_than_u: SOBS!

DrMcDreamy335: wait… santa_cullen_claus is not a cullen at all! we're all in this chat together!

MYNAMEISWEIRD: SANTA HASN'T ASKED ME WHAT **I **WANT!!!!

klutzyvamp101: go ahead Renesmee

MYNAMEISWEIRD: ugh

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: I think she's going through her teenage "angsty" period

MYNAMEISWEIRD: I AM NOT ANGSTY!

MYNAMEISWEIRD: -bangs head on wall- angst, angst, angst

Santa_Cullen_Claus: whaddya want Nessie?

MYNAMEISWEIRD: I want a normal name, like Emily or Elizabeth or Mary!

klutzyvamp101: es-kuh-yoooose me!

Hotter_than_u: ur name is one of a kind, just like you- almost.

MYNAMEISWEIRD: seriously. Renesmee. its cruel!

Santa_Cullen_Claus: I love you for who you are, and your name too. its cute

klutzyvamp101: I know who santa is!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: and im gonna kill that big fat red hobo!

Santa_Cullen_Claus: AAAAAAHHHH!!

klutzyvamp101: I'll help!

_**Santa_Cullen_Claus has left chat.**_

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat.**_

_**klutzyvamp101 has left chat.**_

Luv2Shoppe: u have any idea who it was?

MYNAMEISWEIRD: not a clue.

_**Luv2Shoppe has left chat.**_

_**MYNAMEISWEIRD has left chat,**_

_**Motherofthevamps has left chat.**_

_**DrMcDreamy335 has left chat.**_

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left chat.**_

_**Hotter_than_u has left chat.**_

Emo_maniac: -wakes up from vampiric coma-

Emo_maniac: merry christmachannukwanzaa!!!

Emo_maniac: -passes out again-

**Do you have any idea who Santa was? Tell me in a review! Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good TWILIGHT!**


	9. Emmett's Revenge!

**Wow, I haven't updated this story in a while! Sorry!**

**Dicsclaimer: I have many wonderful things, but i do not have aim or twilight. I have an aim account, and three out of four twilight books, but that doesn't count fer nuttin.**

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered chat**_

_**KlutzyVamp101 has entered chat.**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: hi bellsy!

KlutzyVamp101: bellsy?

Buff_Teddy_Bear: ya. bellsy.

KlutzyVamp101: don't call me that

Buff_Teddy_Bear: please

KlutzyVamp101: no

Buff_Teddy_Bear: please

KlutzyVamp101: no

Buff_Teddy_Bear: please

KlutzyVamp101: no

Buff_Teddy_Bear: please

KlutzyVamp101: no

Buff_Teddy_Bear: please

KlutzyVamp101: no

Buff_Teddy_Bear: aww fine.

KlutzyVamp101: thank you

Buff_Teddy_Bear: FUNRUINER!

KlutzyVamp101: gazuntite

Buff_Teddy_Bear: fun. ru. in. er.

_**Luv2Shoppe has entered chat.**_

Luv2Shoppe: oooo u ruined emmetts fun

Luv2Shoppe: u better watch out

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat.**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: u better not cry

Luv2Shoppe: u better not pout

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: im telling u y

KlutzyVamp101: Eddie-poo is coming to town!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: im going to get u bellsy

KlutzyVamp101: hey!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: if it's the last thing i do…………………………………….

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has left chat**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: ill protect you bellA

KlutzyVamp101: everybody go awww

Luv2Shoppe: BOOOOooOOooOoOoOoO

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: if it's the last thing i do………………………………..

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has left chat**_

Luv2Shoppe: woa déjà vu

_**MYNAMEISWEIRD has entered chat**_

MYNAMEISWEIRD: hi momma. hi auntie alice.

Luv2Shoppe: hi nessie!

KlutzyVamp101: -evil glare-

KlutzyVamp101: go change your screen name RENESMEE or your grounded for a week!

MYNAMEISWEIRD: fine-uh.

_**MYNAMEISWEIRD has left chat**_

_**MommasLittleAngel123 has entered chat**_

KlutzyVamp101: that's better

MommasLittleAngel123: um momma?

KlutzyVamp101: yes, loving daughter of mine?

MommasLittleAngel123: why is daddys golden piano precariously perched behind you?

KlutzyVamp101: WHEN!?!?!

Luv2Shoppe: you mean WHAT!?!?!

KlutzyVamp101: watevah

_**wuts_on_ur_mind1918 has entered chat**_

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: ill save you bella!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: breaks piano

Luv2Shoppe: o well. that piano was only twelve point seven three trillion dollars.

KlutzyVamp101: ONLY?

_**Buff_Teddy_Bear has entered chat**_

Buff_Teddy_Bear: i forgive you bella

KlutzyVamp101: kay

Buff_Teddy_Bear: and

KlutzyVamp101: you should stop that. its freaking me out

Luv2Shoppe: cough

KlutzyVamp101: oh. OH.

KlutzyVamp101: O thank you, my most intimidating one!

Buff_Teddy_Bear: good nuff.

Buff_Teddy_Bear: i can never prank bella because of her shmoopface husband

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: excuse me?

MommasLittleAngel123: cya

MommasLittleAngel123: goin to make out with jakie

_**MommasLittleAngel123 has left chat.**_

KlutzyVamp101: OO

O

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: OO

O

KlutzyVamp101: jaw drops

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: jaw falls off face

Luv2Shoppe: ROFLOLMAO

KlutzyVamp101: now we cant kiss passionately!

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: sure we can

KlutzyVamp101: kisses passionately

wuts_on_ur_mind1918: kisses passionately-er

Luv2Shoppe: ew

Buff_Teddy_Bear: ewer

**review pleasie please!**


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